The Dog's Diary
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My
favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
The Cat's Diary
Day 983 of My Captivity
My captors continue to
taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on
fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of
dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly
clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my
strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of
escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again
vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and
dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped
this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending
comments about what a 'good
little hunter' I am. Those Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.
However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard
that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn
what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his
feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the
top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and
snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly
released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is
obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him
communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports
my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in
an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ...